Archive for the ‘Books’ Category

The story of a driver


2009
09.04

Inspired by Balram Halwai, a shamefully poor village boy-turned-entrepreneur (shameful for the Indian Government ie), in The White Tiger, I must share the humble tale of a college student-turned-cab driver-turned- automobile employee, right here in Noida.

Before the days of my wee Alto, I was dependent on sub-moronic autowallahs and private cab service drivers, who charged me a mini-fortune and tested my patience, with the constant haggling, extreme rudeness and lack of punctuality. I ought to have listened to my friend, a long-time resident of Delhi, who advised way back: when in Delhi you must get a car before you start even looking for a house!

Then came along V, a cab driver who arrived on time, one fine morning to take me to Delhi and back. He came through a well-recommended cab service. Alan joined me in two hour’s time, and we had a smooth travel experience. Next time round, we skipped the cab company and called V, directly, because as Alan pointed out to me, he was punctual, polite and he had a good stereo system in his wee Alto cab.

Whilst I completed my meetings in the vicinity, Alan treated V to a cup of coffee and a sandwich at Café Coffee Day, thus getting to know that he was a 22-year old college dropout, who now drove a cab because his father, a farmer by profession and the only earning member of the family was paralysed from the waist downwards, post an accident.

He also gauged that V was a bright kid, and it was an absolute shame that he didn’t have the opportunity we had. Also, his English was poor, and according to V this stood between him and a better paying, full-time job.

Unfortunately, the cab business is unpredictable. On some days there is no business and some days there are two or three gigs, of which he can max squeeze in one or two. So now, having to support a wife, a mother, a difficult younger brother who was very angry at the prospect of not being able to attend college due to the lack of funds and bed-ridden father, whose medical bills cost a pretty penny, life was reduced to a hand-to-mouth existence.

He aspired to be a policeman, but failed the test by literally a stone’s throw due to some misinformation; the shot-put round fell short by a few feet because the minimum distance required was a little less than what he had practiced for. And there are no second chances, unless one is willing shell out some money.

He shared his disillusionment with the Indian police authorities with us, over some veg pizza and coke, and we listened, empathetically. So, he gave up his police dreams and continued to drive us around regularly. One day he confessed that we were lucky for him; on the days when he was with us, he inevitably ended up with a second gig, minutes after he dropped us off.

He and Alan became fast friends and even indulged some guy talk (of course I wasn’t around during these intimate confidences). The latter compiled a CD of English music, everything from Snap to Buddha Bar, which V could play (and impress) for international clients, and otherwise. On some levels, I think he was fascinated by Alan’s personality, his liberal thoughts and unconventional family background, himself hailing from a conservative, traditional joint family. He told me one day,” Ma’am, maine iss thurahuh ka aadmi khabhi nahi millah (I have never met anyone like Alan).”

Then it was time for Alan to leave, and as we drove him to the airport, both V and I, were consumed by sadness to see him go, yet, happy that he was finally on his way to fulfilling his destiny. On the way home, V confessed that he may never seem him again, but he would listen to the CD and reminisce about the good times.

The story doesn’t end here. In fact, it’s probably just begun. Soon after Alan’s departure, I connected V with some friends who needed a cab service to pick up and drop them to work and back home. They cut a deal, which provides him a regular income.

Lady luck shone her light on him even further; he got a job with an automobile company in the quality check department. Now, he just rents out his car to the folks concerned and still managing to keep his full-time job.

But I doubt he’ll stay in quality check long. This boy should go places…sans committing any homicides.

Share

New Rules


2009
09.02

Bill Maher’s New Rules, a collection of his politically incorrect commentary, denigrates everything from Bush to celebrity flashers to terrorism to virginity pledges, with a dash of humour, lots of audacity and at least one reference to some aspect of popular culture.

It fuels my liberal leanings with a flourish, and inspired by his observations, I have some penned some new rules of my own.

Marriages made in hell

NEW RULE

I’ve observed that only friends and acquaintances with the worst marriages advocate the institution (with some exceptions, of course, and I am not factoring in well-meaning aunts, uncles and cousins).

They cite morbid examples such as “my spinster cousin who is 45 and not married is frustrated, miserable”. My chatty 28-year old maid who has three kids and a cold husband, who takes her nowhere, is one of them. This morning she ranted on, and I asked her if she was happy in her’s. “Nahi, meri barbaadi ho gayi (no, I am destroyed!),” she said, like reflex. Then she changed her mind about my impending nuptials.

Now, the couples in happy marriages react very differently. They want to stay well-informed about the exploits of their single friends, right down to the gory details. Hubby and wifey will make the time of day of you, you shall have their undivided attention over good food and wine, and there shall be chuckles. Lots of them.

So, my advice to not-so-lucky married people, whenever you find yourself advocating the institution to unsuspecting singles, zip it. They shall marry, if and when the time is right, and for the right reasons, and not due to some bourgeois societal norm.

Save it

NEW RULE

It’s a little naïve (and somewhat cheesy), when dating couples cite this particular reason for saving themselves for the honeymoon suite, “We must save at least something for after marriage”.

A male friend of mine has a novel perspective on this. The true test of any relationship is to see what remains once consummation is complete. Do you still enjoy each other’s company? Do you still have s’omething to talk about? Can you be in the same room? Do you already have a case of the roving eye?

On a different note, it’s interesting to know that most ‘savers’, have explored all other ‘loopholes’ (in Bill-speak), if you know what I mean, which defeats the purpose of doing any saving (for religious reasons or others) in the first place.

Share

Cheap books


2009
08.31

I attended the Delhi Book Fair at Pragati Maidan, and noted that the diversity of the madding crowds transcended class, community, religion and nationality, unlike the usual suspects at the Crosswords and Oxfords of the country.

One stall in particular was bursting at the seams with voracious readers.

Was it Penguin? No.
Was it Sage? No.
Was it Katha? No.

The name of the stall: ‘English Novel – Rs 25/- only’.

One man emerged triumphantly with 50 books (yes, I counted) in a plastic bag, most in mint condition, and in hardback.

As I tried to get a foothold into the stall, an elderly gentleman asked the man in charge of collecting the moolah, with disbelief,” Yeh zyaada sastha tho nahi ho gaya (isn’t this price a tad too less)?”

I picked up politically incorrect Bill Maher’s New Rules. I would have fished for some more, but there were two many armpits in my nose (akin to a Mumbai local), and the couple in front of me looked like they weren’t going anywhere for the next decade.

Share

Back to books


2009
08.27

For a longest time, browsing the Internet furiously, replaced reading a book (hard copy), at leisure. But by a necessary quirk of fate, my Internet connection was out of service for six hours at a stretch, this week.

I picked up One Hundred Years Of Solitude, which had been sitting neglected, on my bookshelf all of seven months, and I could not put it down for the next seven hours.

I lapped up 228 pages like a voyeur on the loose, and then it was time for bed. The story of the Buendia clan is both thrilling and disturbing, and I wanted to plough through it, all night. But the more I read, the more eerie I felt. I finally put down the book, but the colourful, eccentric, willful characters in the book appeared in my dreams.

Fernanda, Piedade and Jose – these are the name of characters in the book as well as of relatives, house servants and village folks, back in Goa. So, I felt a strange familiarity, by virtue of our colonial ancestry. A little girl arrives one fine day, wearing a scapula around her neck. I stopped wearing one many years back and I had almost forgotten the existence of this sacred thread, worn by most Roman Catholics in Goa.

The mention of Guajira, which refers to an Indian tribe (from Cuba me thinks) reminded me of the song Guantanamera, which features ‘Guajira in the chorus. The word may have different meanings in the book and the song, yet, it transported me to an anecdote from pop’s younger days. A musician would gaily mispronounce Gauntanamera at weddings and dances. “Gone Through The Mirror”, he sang, instead.

I also remember old tailor Santan who would come round to my aunty’s (or was it my grandma’s) house, to sew for two-three days at a stretch. He had his own rendition of the song; “Santanamera”, he would sing, feeling extremely pleased as he saluted himself, hummed a few notes, and proceeded to whip up a frock with a frill, a boat neck and darts, in 20 minutes.

Share