Bill Maher’s New Rules, a collection of his politically incorrect commentary, denigrates everything from Bush to celebrity flashers to terrorism to virginity pledges, with a dash of humour, lots of audacity and at least one reference to some aspect of popular culture.
It fuels my liberal leanings with a flourish, and inspired by his observations, I have some penned some new rules of my own.
Marriages made in hell
NEW RULE
I’ve observed that only friends and acquaintances with the worst marriages advocate the institution (with some exceptions, of course, and I am not factoring in well-meaning aunts, uncles and cousins).
They cite morbid examples such as “my spinster cousin who is 45 and not married is frustrated, miserable”. My chatty 28-year old maid who has three kids and a cold husband, who takes her nowhere, is one of them. This morning she ranted on, and I asked her if she was happy in her’s. “Nahi, meri barbaadi ho gayi (no, I am destroyed!),” she said, like reflex. Then she changed her mind about my impending nuptials.
Now, the couples in happy marriages react very differently. They want to stay well-informed about the exploits of their single friends, right down to the gory details. Hubby and wifey will make the time of day of you, you shall have their undivided attention over good food and wine, and there shall be chuckles. Lots of them.
So, my advice to not-so-lucky married people, whenever you find yourself advocating the institution to unsuspecting singles, zip it. They shall marry, if and when the time is right, and for the right reasons, and not due to some bourgeois societal norm.
Save it
NEW RULE
It’s a little naïve (and somewhat cheesy), when dating couples cite this particular reason for saving themselves for the honeymoon suite, “We must save at least something for after marriage”.
A male friend of mine has a novel perspective on this. The true test of any relationship is to see what remains once consummation is complete. Do you still enjoy each other’s company? Do you still have s’omething to talk about? Can you be in the same room? Do you already have a case of the roving eye?
On a different note, it’s interesting to know that most ‘savers’, have explored all other ‘loopholes’ (in Bill-speak), if you know what I mean, which defeats the purpose of doing any saving (for religious reasons or others) in the first place.
Tags: bill maher, Bush, celebrity flasher, liberal, new rules, terrorism, virginity pledge
written with alot of passion