Archive for September, 2009

In The Mountains


2009
09.19

I set out on a one-day trek to Triund, and guess what? I aborted the mission halfway, and suddenly remembered why I suck, at treks.

The UV rays of the sun beat down wildly, through the ozone layer, and bored into the skin on my face and arms. This cool weather is deceptive, making me forget to don a cap. 20 minutes into the trek I was alarmed by the sound of my own breathing, and on the trudge down, I thought my kneecaps would crack any moment.

But for every moment of agony, there were countless moments of ecstasy. The deodar trees were tall and strapping. The leaves on the trees were fresh mint green. Cakes of horse dung formed a trail all the way to the top of the mountain, while little streams found their way to the bottom. A bovine family of daddy, mommy and baby, munched on green, green grass, and pretty little purple and yellow flowers glistened in the sun.

We walked 14 km, and navigated a height of 5,300 m.

I told the guide Ashok — a wee 21-year old who attends tourism college and moonlights as a guide – to slow down so we could enjoy all the picturesque sites along the way. Baby Ashok was a quiet sort, but I drilled out a lot within those eight hours. He hails from Kangra and earns Rs 135 per day as a trekking guide. The one time he grew mildly verbose was when I inquired him about his religion. He said profoundly in Hindi,” A person’s religion is just for namesake. Being humane is a mark of a person’s true religion”. Touché!

We stopped for lunch at a lodge in the mountains where the view was breath taking, and my chewing on insipid fried rice and rubbery paranthas was interrupted by a male cow trying to hump a female, in vain. He seemed to have given up after the third attempt when an Alto cab honked them put of its way.

I returned to the hotel and sipped on hot chocolate, as it grew chillier. I could no longer see the valley on yonder from my windowsill; a curtain of mist hung right across. So, I stayed in my room and had the quirky, cynical, suicidal Esther Greenwood for company, the rest of the evening.

As I checked out of the hotel this morning a gaggle of Punjus invaded the hotel. They badgered the receptionist with questions about welcome drinks, and the like.

Oddly, one them, a guy whom I considered to be mildly attractive apologised to me for the din, and inquired about the hotel food. I gave him my review and headed out to Nick’s Italian Café.

I observed the international folks, and they seemed to comprise all sorts of oddballs, who were probably here for snorts ‘n’ giggles. The three garrulous women on the next table were talking so loudly I could not hear myself think.

So, I wandered far from the madding crowd and sat at the edge of the restaurant from where I could see the valley below. I realised then, that I was not here to socialise, shop or investigate all the local joints.

I was here for some unadulterated peace and quiet and to enjoy nature in its full bloom.

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A Slice Of Tibet


2009
09.17

I’m typing this post from an Internet café! I had forgotten the existence of these relics…and the reason I need to use one, is because I am currently on a mini sabbatical at Mcleod Ganj.

I boarded a Himachal Tourism bus at CP, a “deluxe” non-AC Volvo. A voluminous flute of black carbon monoxide sprang out of the bus as the driver turned on the engine, the start of a somewhat tedious bus journey (hated buses). The dust and the metal on Delhi roads consumed my nostrils for the next three or four hours. The road was rocky, but the air suspension in the bus was not completely nonexistent. Sigh of relief.

The bus halted at a resort called ‘Mirchi’ somewhere in the Haryana hinterland, and a joint family of locals kept looking at me with diapproval — single girl seated at a table at 10 pm. I was least bothered, and enjoyed the soup, even though the chef forgot to inject flavour into the recipe. That’s what happens with you order Chinese food in Haryana. 

This morning, I got off the bus and wandered around the streets looking for my hotel, and then decided to have breakfast at Nick’s. It’s a nice, squeaky clean place, and I ordered a a concoction of lemon, honey and ginger. The sun was shining, the trees were glistening, and the tea was comfortaing.

The service at the restaurant and all restaurants, here, is similar: the local folk move at a glacial pace (just like most people in Delhi).

The place reminds me a little of Goa, quaint, yet, a little commercial. Everyone is selling something; massages, trinkets, handbags, food, and Tibetan culture/ history. I felt happy and sad, simultaneously. Cheery, because the conifers are a site to behold and remind me of Christmas. Sad because the local folks seem so dependant on the tourists for their daily bread, those smiles can be pretty deceiving. Yet, it was an eye-opening experience about the history of Tibet, and one can see some very gory sights and documentaries at the Tibetan Museum.

I haven’t yet tasted any momos that take your breath away, like the ones served up by this tiny cart at Lajpatnagar.

A trek to Triund is on the anvil.

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Johnny Castle, dead. Sniff.


2009
09.15

In Class 8, I wanted to order a copy of Dirty Dancing from the local video library (VCR format!). My mother who paid the video tab did not approve; the title was suggestive, and not appropriate for a 13-year old. But to give her credit, she did not deny me the movie. She  screened it, first, by watching it herself!

Now, this could have worked against me. However, it passed muster because this particular copy was probably the most censored copy of DD in all of the Middle East!

So, I got to watch it, and till date it is one of my favourite films. When I mean ‘favourite’, I am talking about that category of films one can watch a million times.

I reviewed the Indian rip-off of Dirty Dancing titled Holiday, a very inferior, ill-conceived and shoddily made copy of its American prototype.

Today, I feel sad that Patrick Swayze is dead. I watched three of his films, Dirty Dancing, Ghost and City Of Joy, and loved him in every one of them, and it is not merely because I am a fan who digs brawny dudes who move like swans. He brought a certain sincerity and innocence that contrasted perfectly with his rugged looks, and gravelly baritone.

Sniff.

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Dilli Diary 2: Chivalry isn’t dead


2009
09.08

Just the other day, I suggested carpooling with a colleague, a sweet fella’, who sincerely drives three hours a day to work and back, along with some other colleagues. He nodded in agreement, but when I offered to chip in, he had a quizzical look in his eye. But it was settled, I would be carpooling.

In the next ten minutes, he walked up to another colleague (who happens to be a pal of mine) and inquired,” Whaa-t is ‘sheep ee-n’?” She in turn inquired in what context he heard the phrase. “I came across it on the Internet,” he told her, rather unconvincingly.

”It means to contribute,” she said.

The next time, I brought up the matter of chipping in, he nodded with a big smile. It’s a different matter though that he did not charge me a penny, even though I insisted. Yes, chivalry isn’t dead in Dilli, entirely.

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Dilli Diary 1: “Yes sir” & “Yes ma’am”


2009
09.07

In the past one week, I have finished reading eight essays dedicated to the capital and one book, which gave me some insight into the way of life in this city. Now, I am starting to see things in a very different light.

I remember my Class X teacher in school, balking at us if we referred to him as ‘sir’. “Have I received the knighthood?” he would demand to know. So, I sometimes addressed him as Mr so-and-so, but mostly never at all; it just seemed a little awkward. However since then, I have hardly referred to anyone as “sir”; it seems primitive, colonial, feudal.

17 years down the line, a twenty-something new recruit at work (in Delhi) recently referred to me as ‘Ma’am’, and I felt queasy.

Reminds me of the time when a twenty-something new recruit from Delhi referred to his editor and boss (in Mumbai) as “Ma’am”, and she could not stomach it. We did our best to get him to address her by her first name, but he would get very squeamish about addressing a “senior” by her first name, and could never bring himself to succumb to this casual media work culture. He got a different job, and we shall never know if this Dilli kid will shake off his feudal ways.

Reminds me of yet another instance, when a twenty-something new recruit from Delhi, referred to his boss, a very senior editor (in Mumbai) as “Sir”. Now, this senior editor’s attitude is so casual, that every now and then he poses random (sometimes scandalous) questions to his editorial staff to the effect of “If you had a chance, would you sleep with Shah Rukh Khan?”. No one would bat an eyelid, and would in fact, answer his questions in a matter-of-fact, nonchalant manner. So, when he was addressed as “Sir”, the editor scampered away in fright, and the kid did not know what hit him.

The “sir”, “ma’am” and “ma-ii-dam” culture is predominant in Delhi. In fact, once I was referred to as ‘Merrilji’! I could barely hold still, and was laughing raucously, inside.

Yes, things tend to be formal, and there’s a very clear class and hierarchical distinction, in every realm of life. For instance, a driver will refer to his employee as “Sir” or “Madam”, which is okay and applies to many parts of the world and country, but he in turn will often be referred to by his employer, as “driver”, which sounds absolutely terrible.

I know of this one family who refers to their servant as “Naukar” (servant) and he has been working for them for ONLY 20 years!

On a different note, in my apartment complex, we have a separate elevator for servants and drivers, and how do we know that? The notice next to it clearly states “Lift for drivers/ servants)”, which easily could have said “Employee lift” or something more subtle. Ironically, when the lift for residents broke down, everyone — and I mean everyone — was using the lift meant for the help.

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The story of a driver


2009
09.04

Inspired by Balram Halwai, a shamefully poor village boy-turned-entrepreneur (shameful for the Indian Government ie), in The White Tiger, I must share the humble tale of a college student-turned-cab driver-turned- automobile employee, right here in Noida.

Before the days of my wee Alto, I was dependent on sub-moronic autowallahs and private cab service drivers, who charged me a mini-fortune and tested my patience, with the constant haggling, extreme rudeness and lack of punctuality. I ought to have listened to my friend, a long-time resident of Delhi, who advised way back: when in Delhi you must get a car before you start even looking for a house!

Then came along V, a cab driver who arrived on time, one fine morning to take me to Delhi and back. He came through a well-recommended cab service. Alan joined me in two hour’s time, and we had a smooth travel experience. Next time round, we skipped the cab company and called V, directly, because as Alan pointed out to me, he was punctual, polite and he had a good stereo system in his wee Alto cab.

Whilst I completed my meetings in the vicinity, Alan treated V to a cup of coffee and a sandwich at Café Coffee Day, thus getting to know that he was a 22-year old college dropout, who now drove a cab because his father, a farmer by profession and the only earning member of the family was paralysed from the waist downwards, post an accident.

He also gauged that V was a bright kid, and it was an absolute shame that he didn’t have the opportunity we had. Also, his English was poor, and according to V this stood between him and a better paying, full-time job.

Unfortunately, the cab business is unpredictable. On some days there is no business and some days there are two or three gigs, of which he can max squeeze in one or two. So now, having to support a wife, a mother, a difficult younger brother who was very angry at the prospect of not being able to attend college due to the lack of funds and bed-ridden father, whose medical bills cost a pretty penny, life was reduced to a hand-to-mouth existence.

He aspired to be a policeman, but failed the test by literally a stone’s throw due to some misinformation; the shot-put round fell short by a few feet because the minimum distance required was a little less than what he had practiced for. And there are no second chances, unless one is willing shell out some money.

He shared his disillusionment with the Indian police authorities with us, over some veg pizza and coke, and we listened, empathetically. So, he gave up his police dreams and continued to drive us around regularly. One day he confessed that we were lucky for him; on the days when he was with us, he inevitably ended up with a second gig, minutes after he dropped us off.

He and Alan became fast friends and even indulged some guy talk (of course I wasn’t around during these intimate confidences). The latter compiled a CD of English music, everything from Snap to Buddha Bar, which V could play (and impress) for international clients, and otherwise. On some levels, I think he was fascinated by Alan’s personality, his liberal thoughts and unconventional family background, himself hailing from a conservative, traditional joint family. He told me one day,” Ma’am, maine iss thurahuh ka aadmi khabhi nahi millah (I have never met anyone like Alan).”

Then it was time for Alan to leave, and as we drove him to the airport, both V and I, were consumed by sadness to see him go, yet, happy that he was finally on his way to fulfilling his destiny. On the way home, V confessed that he may never seem him again, but he would listen to the CD and reminisce about the good times.

The story doesn’t end here. In fact, it’s probably just begun. Soon after Alan’s departure, I connected V with some friends who needed a cab service to pick up and drop them to work and back home. They cut a deal, which provides him a regular income.

Lady luck shone her light on him even further; he got a job with an automobile company in the quality check department. Now, he just rents out his car to the folks concerned and still managing to keep his full-time job.

But I doubt he’ll stay in quality check long. This boy should go places…sans committing any homicides.

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The Great Wall Of Noida


2009
09.03

It’s 22.23 hours, and a violent storm has unleashed its wrath on Noida. Thundering, lightening,  a vile gail and a massive downpour. The lights went out for a few minutes, but thanks to the full power backup facility, it’s back.

I’m not so sure about the rest of the city, which does not have the luxury of renting a place with full power backup; you see the electricity department in noida is in shambles. The lights may go out even 20 times a day (Alan once counted!).  In fact before I arrived in these parts of the country, I had never even heard of the term ‘full power back-up’, which essentially means that you shell out a pretty penny every month for a steady supply of electricity that supports all your electronic gadgets, right from AC to TV to geyser, and is generated by…well…a generator. This one is a central one though, a kin to central air-conditioning.

On a different note, the water is undrinkable. It’s hard as a rock, and your intestines are sure to get ulcers if you drink it, everyday. To soften it, one has to either purchase an RO (7 grand approximately), or a regular supply of mineral water.

I often wonder what the poor folks do. Now, if only Lady Mayawati channelised those funds, which are being pumped into building a mammoth Dalit memorial (I call it The Great Wall Of Noida), to create better amenities in the town, and the rest of the state.

The spookiest thing about the memorial are the umpteen statues erected across the venue, and covered with a purple robes. They cut eerie figures, as you drive down Film City, as if they might spring to life at any moment.

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New Rules


2009
09.02

Bill Maher’s New Rules, a collection of his politically incorrect commentary, denigrates everything from Bush to celebrity flashers to terrorism to virginity pledges, with a dash of humour, lots of audacity and at least one reference to some aspect of popular culture.

It fuels my liberal leanings with a flourish, and inspired by his observations, I have some penned some new rules of my own.

Marriages made in hell

NEW RULE

I’ve observed that only friends and acquaintances with the worst marriages advocate the institution (with some exceptions, of course, and I am not factoring in well-meaning aunts, uncles and cousins).

They cite morbid examples such as “my spinster cousin who is 45 and not married is frustrated, miserable”. My chatty 28-year old maid who has three kids and a cold husband, who takes her nowhere, is one of them. This morning she ranted on, and I asked her if she was happy in her’s. “Nahi, meri barbaadi ho gayi (no, I am destroyed!),” she said, like reflex. Then she changed her mind about my impending nuptials.

Now, the couples in happy marriages react very differently. They want to stay well-informed about the exploits of their single friends, right down to the gory details. Hubby and wifey will make the time of day of you, you shall have their undivided attention over good food and wine, and there shall be chuckles. Lots of them.

So, my advice to not-so-lucky married people, whenever you find yourself advocating the institution to unsuspecting singles, zip it. They shall marry, if and when the time is right, and for the right reasons, and not due to some bourgeois societal norm.

Save it

NEW RULE

It’s a little naïve (and somewhat cheesy), when dating couples cite this particular reason for saving themselves for the honeymoon suite, “We must save at least something for after marriage”.

A male friend of mine has a novel perspective on this. The true test of any relationship is to see what remains once consummation is complete. Do you still enjoy each other’s company? Do you still have s’omething to talk about? Can you be in the same room? Do you already have a case of the roving eye?

On a different note, it’s interesting to know that most ‘savers’, have explored all other ‘loopholes’ (in Bill-speak), if you know what I mean, which defeats the purpose of doing any saving (for religious reasons or others) in the first place.

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My first dent


2009
09.01

My car received its maiden dent this morning, when a Honda City swerved from right to left sans any indication, and stopped dead in its tracks, whilst trying to enter the housing society on my left.

I braked, and a Santro Zing rammed into the rear end of my wee Alto. I glared at the driver, and he stepped out of his car and apologised profusely, mumbling something about his brakes not working — civilised behaviour for the average driver in these parts.

I stooped down to take a closer look at the black bumper; it was a mere scratch. So, I got back into the car. The first dent/ scratch seems like a necessary rite of passage for any new driver, and I recalled the words of an old classmate – after banging your car once, it’s all good. Touché.

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