Archive for July, 2009

Black Or White


2009
07.25

We all have a certain “type” we are attracted to. A twenty-something single Indian male friend shared,” I want to date a woman who is either very, very fair, or very, very dark.”

No cliche there. I pondered a bit and then it struck me. He’s a photographer who only takes pictures in black and white. Maybe he views the world in black and white, and this colour palette now extends to people, and the women he dates, too.

So, what is YOUR type?

Here goes: rugged, must have a bit of a wild/ rebellious streak, can’t have a petty bone in his body.

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MAMA SAYS…


2009
07.23

I speak to my mother, twice a day. Once, during my morning expedition to work in a shared cab, amidst a din of loud Hindi/ Punjabi music (a snooty friend once asked if I was in a very downmarket place!), five groggy-eyed people trying to take a nap in a Tata Safari, that’s thundering down the streets of Delhi at the speed of light, only this ride is bumpy and jerky, and not recommended for anyone with a bad back. On the bright side, it has an air-condition, which works. And the driver is a pleasant chap (by Delhi standards this is superlative).

I speak to mom once again in the evening, before I hit the sack. She wants to know how the day went, if I practiced driving, et al.

This morning, mama said excitedly,” Your horoscope has good things to say about you, today.” So, I asked her to read it aloud. As she looked for the morning paper, she said,” You know, I read only YOUR horoscope everyday, and when it is good, I feel happy.”

I instantly felt a warm, fuzzy feeling, inside. Henceforth, she will be reading to me every morning to me, on the phone, whilst Lassie messes about cantankerously, in the background, with her bottles and balls.

PS: I took the car for a spin after dark, and I realised that Noida is full of speed demons, in the evening, all racing in every direction. Banshees wail, as bikers honk, incessantly.

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FACEBOOK IS HIRING


2009
07.18

I’ve turned into a self-confessed Facebook addict, so much so, that I was combing sections like ‘Careers’ and ‘About’. As per my expectations, they were as casually cool as the rest of the site. I absolutely dug this particular key note:

Innovation is paramount

No matter what part of Facebook you join, you’ll be building something big and new. You won’t simply be finding answers; you’ll be framing questions that no one has ever asked before – and identifying unprecedented opportunities. We welcome pioneers. In fact, we insist on them.

Wow.

Another key note, which instantly caught my attention:

Food

This may be our most awesome perk. Facebook provides microkitchens and lots of great, free snacks at just about all its major worldwide locations. At our Palo Alto headquarters, we also offer free breakfast, lunch and dinner at our Cafe. Whether you’re looking for healthy salads, hearty world cuisine from countries such as Belize and India, or just a couple slices of pizza, Chef Josef and his team of culinary geniuses make it happen every day.

Yum.

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RETURN OF THE PRUDES


2009
07.18

I am REALLY ticked off! An old family friend’s kid surfaced, recently, and added me as a friend on Facebook. I accepted, because his appearance brought back fond memories of our childhood. Playing on the beach. Dinner parties. Christmas, et al.

The other day he shows up on Facebook chat and asks me: ‘Hope you know what you are doing’. Huh? I questioned him back and this individual disappeared.

Obviously, he has been keeping a close tab on all my photographs. A few glasses of wine later, our man has conjured up wild images of hedonistic debauchery, in his pea-sized brain. How wimpy of him, to make a statement and then, vanish.

Today, he surfaced again and said: “You are all on the road to hell”
Merril: “Excuse me?”
Judgemental ole’ fool: “You have really changed….what exactly is it that you do?”
Merril: Please explain your line of questioning ASAP.

Then he whimpered, pathetically, something to the effect off,” You won’t get it. Bye”, and vanished.

I am shocked at how people from my generation can be so intrusive, so judgemental, not to mention, plain rude!

Guess who has been de-friended on Facebook? BTW, this chap attended Indian School, Muscat, and now lives in Dubai.

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JOBLESS IN MUMBAI


2009
07.17

My new best friend in Delhi, Bips was telling me about how she and her roommate combed the job market in Mumbai with a vengeance, at the start of their careers.

At any given point of the day, they were carrying a least half a dozen resumes, and this piece of paper must have landed in every small, medium and large-sized TV, film and advertising company in Mumbai.

They paid a visit to this particular advertising company in Bandra one fine day, which was the size of a bathroom. The receptionist opened the door, stuck her hand out and asked from their resumes. There was no room from them to wait inside the office.

Finally, my friend got a job. Her roommate was not as lucky. One fine day, she packed her bags and was all set to return to her hometown. But as luck would have it, her train was cancelled and she returned to her PG digs. The next day she has a job interview with a big TV company. The next day, she got the job.

Bips’ anecdotes reminded me of my own jobless situation in 2001. My friend and roomie Moush was jobless, too. Everyday we would religiously surf job web sites at the local net café for suitable positions. We networked, attended interviews, cooked together, took a stroll in the evening at Naani-Naani Park in the vicinity and counted our pennies together. Finally, we landed jobs for the princely sum of Rs 8,000 a month. Guess what we did? We threw a party, which cost us about 1/8th our salaries.

The joy of finding a new purpose in life was priceless.

By the way, my new haircut can be styled into a Mohawk, using just the right amount of serum and the right hand movements.

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Silky Silver BMW


2009
07.09

My daily commute is sucking every ounce of energy from my being, post my my office relocating to the boondocks, in the middle of nowhere. There’s a swanky IT hub nearby, but a  few kilometres of construction, dust, highway and nothingness, can leave you feeling pretty isolated.

I really want to find more time to write about the things that matter. But I am doing so little writing these days, and whenever I sit down to pen my thoughts, I feel exhausted. Whenever I call up mom, I am yawning. Sometimes she worries. I tease her and insist that she tell me more scandalous stuff – aside from how Goa is sweltering in the heat, how the sewage has overflowed once again, and other such mundane events.

On the bright side, I have just bought my first set of wheels, a second-hand Alto in Silky Silver. It’s not a BMW. But it has power steering, an AC, a stereo with FM and (guess!!) a cassette player! Also, tinted glasses and it’s seen about 21,000 km of road, up to now.

Learning how to drive was my resolution in 2007. Well, two years late is better than never!

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BYOM(ichael)J(ackson)M party!


2009
07.05

You have pound parties and Bring Your Own Booze parties.

But the new thing is BYOMJM or Bring Your Own Michael Jackson Music party!

My friend Nishant was attending one of these shindigs this weekend, and updated me on the lingo. He was excited about it, and his own selection is already in place.

I asked him not to forget the umpteen MJ remixes that have been lovingly spun by DJs all over the world, including MC Al’s own tributes to MJ.

I downloaded a quirky remix of ‘Michael Jackson 5 – ABC I Want You Back (Ultimix remix)’ the other day.

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Happy ‘n’ Gay


2009
07.03

On the way to work this morning, I voraciously combed the paper for all dope on the HC’s judgement to decriminalise homosexuality. My eyes grew moist, as I thought about all my friends in the gay community.

Yesterday’s high court judgement was long overdue. But a colleague observed with scepticism, “I doubt it will change the perception of gay people in India. This media is simply hyping things.”

Maybe.

But imagine the sheer confidence  that any gay person would feel, knowing that he or she could now legally exercise their own sexual preference in this country? Well, not the entire country, yet (but when the capital takes the lead, the rest of the country will hopefully follow suit. Fancy this happening in Delhi, which is perceived more conservative and insensitive than say Mumbai or Bangalore).

This fact changes everything.

No longer does a gay person need to be quiet when harassed, blackmailed, extorted or jailed. Besides, gay people seem to always be associated with more promiscuity. I quizzed a gay friend of mine about this, and he responded that one reason could be that all liaisons and relationships need to be conducted in secret, because your have the law against you. They can’t get married, claim mediclaim for their partner, et al.

I feel sad that Christian groups in India are investing time and energy in opposing this  judgment. What ever happened to tolerance?

Bill Maher conducted a borderline comical interview in his documentary Religulous, where he interviews a gay chap who turned pastor and claims to be a straight pastor. In other words he was ‘cured’ of his condition.

Bill flirts with him, in his typical brazen style, and it’s obvious that the pastor naturally responded to it. All that suppression is SUCH a waste of energy. Besides, if we just allowed gay people to be happily gay, I think this world would have a lot more character. Touche.

The LA Times features an empathetic piece on this development:

Personally, I think that though the Indian media is indeed going to town by sensationalising things, which can sometimes be a good thing, they do report with a little more empathy, and not make a carnival of the whole event. Some restraint and empathy, is the need of the hour for the Indian media in this country.

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White Beauty


2009
07.01

Post a very unfruitful yet another car shopping expedition, we visited a joint at the Great India Place, and ordered a butter chicken combo. The manager presumed that Alan was from abroad, courtesy his white skin, and offered us complementary gulab jamuns, whilst suggested that Alan must try this wonderful Indian delicacy.

We exchanged a knowing look, and played along with the charade. Now, if only he has asked to try some Indian dishes, with a certain reputation, we might have got a couple of more freebees. But no, we paid the bill and were soon on our way.

On a different note, I found out that a colleague of mine at one point used not one, but three fairness products to improve his complexion. One of them was ‘Fair & Handsome’. He thinks that the girls in north India like fair skin. Of course, his attempts at becoming fairer did not get him the girl. So, he dropped his beauty plan, and is now come to terms with his complexion.

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