A recent meeting with an old friend, had me wondering why most people place so much emphasis on what other people think. This person is bright, accomplished, articulate, poised and would strike one as confident. One could classify her marriage as happy and secure and her career as, flourishing.
And yet, she feels a deep sense of guilt about her past, a phase of excesses, which many a deeply passionate and creative individual may experience, an expected hazard of trying to ‘find oneself’. Some may classify it as scandalous. I would classify it merely as been-there-done-that. She thinks a lot about what people will think, because some of them have made snide remarks in the past. Once or twice, she has come up with sharp repartees that have silenced the critics.
She was telling about how she never envisioned herself as good mom material (Anjolina Jolie thought she was too ‘dark’ to be a mom). But I think she’s a wonderful and fun mom. It’s easy to tell; her child is neither spoilt nor materialistic, but playful and peaceful. Overall, she looked happy, except for ths smattering of guilt, which seems to be simmering beneath the surface, and must be nipped in the bud, a good resolution for now. Her hubby recommends it too.
Cut to another friend, who’s parents seem overtly concerned about what people will think of her dalliance with an inappropriate man of her choice. Little do they know that the inappropriate dalliance might be a sub-set of their lack of effort to understand what she wants and what makes her happy. And hence is born, a poor substitute for real love, romantic and otherwise.
So, why does it matter so much what ‘people will think’? In the past, ‘what people think’ has clouded my thought processes, but usually for only a brief period of time, 30 seconds to be precise. Then common sense prevails over bourgeois opinions.
