My friend S has the most exquisite elfin features. Think Natalie Imbruglia. Dolores O’Riordan (lead singer of the Cranberries). She also has a classic sense of style, wit, intelligence and common sense. But her parents who are desperately tried to marry her off, think she needs to gain weight, because they’ve for some reason, equated her single status with her thinness.
So, they registered her for a weight-gain programme by a media-savvy fitness moghul whose fitness chain in my opinion is a first-class con job. Besides spending a ton of money on this, she is to take vitamins regularly. She also got a teeth job, to give them more shape. They also suggested rectifying her chin, which means nothing short of surgery. Finally, my friend put her foot down and refused this violation of the highest order.
When she gets annoyed, the parents look hurt (and in fact are hurt) and the atmosphere in the house deteriorates exponentially.
This should explain why S post Class X has constantly found an excuse to live away from home. First for studies, then a job in the same city, which was too far from her parent’s home, and then a job out-of-station.
Now, she lives in Mumbai. They live in another metropolis. The folks were down recently and I popped over for a visit. I expected two immensely annoying individuals. But surprisingly, they were warm, friendly and greeted me with parent-like affection. I found it difficult to believe that two people who were as evolved as this, could suggest a chin job for their daughter! How must it make her feel? Angry or ugly?
If she’s angry I’m not worried. But if she starts feeling ugly, then I am severely worried. It turns out that she is outraged when subject to this constant barrage. And the anger manifests in the form of tears, which she literally chokes on. But, every now and then she does fell ugly and the alternation between these states is proving to be a constant battle. A guy can make her feel ugly, by simply rejecting her — until better sense prevails. Luckily the lead-time is less these days, courtesy constant reminders by another friend and myself, whom she confides in, that is indeed exquisite, in looks and personality.
One day my friend left for work early, and since I stayed over, I got chatting with her parents about life and its complexities over breakfast. Her mom began eulogising about how her daughter has lost weight and what she could do to make it put it back on. Her father explained how she gets extremely upset when they suggest methods of improving her physical appearance. Whilst their mentality annoyed me, I did not doubt for a second that they genuinely cared about this child,
in their own twisted way.
I brought up the issue of self-esteem, and mentioned that the gradual erosion of it is the most dangerous outcome. One’s self-esteem is like a child’s laugh in Peter Pan. When the latter shattered into a million pieces, each piece turned into a fairy. But when in real life, your self-esteem shatters into a million pieces, there are no fairies.
Each piece pricks your spirit, one at a time.
They listened intently to what I had to say. No nagging, only encouragement, I suggested. Yesterday, when I spoke to my friend she said that since she got back from an outstation trip, they’ve been at it less.
I hope this attitude is not short-lived until the next marriage proposal falls apart.
I must meet this friend, “S”, no?
You’ve already met her …twit!