It’s funny how old habits die hard. I have a ‘friend’, in fact a one-upon-a-time best friend who NO longer features on my friends’ list. We were buddies in college and would confide in each other a lot. But over time she changed.
She got bossier, dishonest and manipulative. We were about 21 years of age back then. By and by, we drifted apart. The final straw was when she lied to me and I got to know a certain truth from other people. If it was today, I would have confronted her there and then. But by then, our friendship had soured and this was as they say the last nail in the coffin.
The years went by. I went my way and she went hers. But our paths have crossed again because we have a common friend, a wonderful human being who has integrity. Yes, I know that noone really uses words like that any more to describe a singleton in her 20’s. But really, this word sums her up in a nutshell.
Anyways, because of our common friend, my ex-best friend and I have gotten in touch again. I decided to let bygones be bygones and started to believe all the nice things my friend had to say about her.
This welcome backfired. She’s still pushy, dishonest and manipulative, and worse still clingy. And she is clinging on to my friend for dear life, in the bargain driving my friend mad.
Anyways, my friend is now gasping for breath and hopes by some quirk of fate she can shake off Ms Clingy or at least get her to carve out her own niche in life. No chance I told her….don’t be scared of rocking the boat. Just be straight, assertive and spell out the way you feel to Ms Bossy/Clingy. If she gets defensive, annoyed and all of that, tough luck. On the other hand by suffering in silence and indulging Ms Bossy’s nonsense, you are nurturing a very unhealthy relationship.
This experience has taught me something too. It is important to be honest with others. But it is more important to be honest with oneself because problems don’t go away. They remain until we deal with solve them. Secondly, I respect self-made people who do not latch on to other’s. Ask for support, seek advice, get help etc but don’t be a parasite, a leech who survives on another’s resources.
Unfortunately it is only the people who trust and believe that there is goodness everywhere who fall prey to the charms of such people. For such people (and I am somewhat one of them), it pays to get street-smart.
Lots of venting i see!
Lets meet up and crib together
-Sana
Ha ha. I have a vague feeling I know exactly who you’re talking about. But I may be wrong – since we last shared friends several years ago and you may probably be talking about some new ones!
So is it a bong story or what?
yup yup…you hit jackpot…pooh…been trying to touch base with you on gmail…what time are you online?
Sana, crib in union we should!