How To Match-make With Finesse
Matchmaking one’s friends is an art. It must be undertaken with a pinch of subtely and sensitivity. This is because YOU run the risk of embarrassing the two people in question. At the same time, YOU should not feel pressurized in the wake of eventualities that leave a bad taste in themouth ( his or her’s or his’/hers’)
My friend Chaitali who is always effervescent in her bid to organize, permute, combine and most of all see all single people settled immediately ( even though she was single at the time), set me up with a chap named Darryl. This is how she described this particular individual - ’Catholic, has a big bank balance, is a something-ologist with an MNC and is stationed in some exotic locale tucked away in the far reaches of Africa.
She seemed very optimistic that we would hit it off. So we arranged to meet for coffee. She picked me up from my residence after checking that my appearance was appropriate for the occasion. I mounted her scooty and we sped off in the pursuit of true love.
We reached the modest little coffee shop and I alighted from the scooty. My eyes scanned the entrance and I couln’t spot anyone who looked even vaguely savvy. A man in his thirties sporting a thick moustache walked up to us. I looked at Chaitali and she flashed a smile.
I suddenly felt very nervous. He reminded me of your bachelor stereotype, who paves his way in the Middle East, works hard, makes a decent packet and then eventually comes home, to marry a nice girl ( fair, slim and god fearing) from his community; possibly the match would be arranged by his parents. He would then go back. After about 6 months she would follow suit and instantly vanish into oblivion, and all traces of her would be wiped away from her native forever.
I don’t mean to sound condescending, but such men are definitely not my cup of tea. Anyways, I thought to myself that I must make an effort to stop my mental processes from running riot at least so as to honour Chaitali’s efforts. We settled ourselves on a table for three.
Chaitali and Darryl made conversation, while I tried to pay attention and stop my eyes from wandering around the restaurant. I stifled a yawn. After about 15 minutes, Chaitali jumped up, fiegned the need to be elsewhere in precisely 10 minutes, and vanished!
I was horrified. I sat with downcast eyes downcast, not quite knowing what to say. Anyways, Darryl very confidently said, ” So, tell me…what is on your mind?”
“Nothing”, I said and became mum again. He continued and I listen with rapt shock whcih eventually turned into amusement, ” I am 30 years of age and it is now time for me to get married ( tough luck, I thought!). Since you are also Catholic, I think we could get to know each other better. Chaitali mentioned that you had previous ties with someone else ( remember to kill her, Merril). Is it over?”
“Actually, things might just work out between us. I really cannot be sure.”, I said with extreme lacklustre.
The conversation dragged on for about another 20 minutes, as my pupils gotg bigger and bigger. He said he once liked a Keralite girl who worked with him, but did not approach her because she was from a different community and his parents would disapprove ( mama’s boy!).
He suggested we have dinner. ‘I already have plans,” I said. “I could drop you home.”, he said. He wanted my no. and all that. I took his down and then we parted ways.
The incident was too bizaare to believe. My girlfriends gasped and my guy friends were highly amused. At the time, I felt a wee bit traumatized because I could not imagine how someone could have such a mechanical view to marriage. He wanted to ‘know me’. Did he not realized that we think like chalk and cheese? How naive he is.
I spoke to Chaitali later that evening and he said that I didn’t know what I wanted! What audacity, I say. I definitely know that I do not want to end up with stuffed shirt like him!
Chaitali apologized profusely, though I always reassure her that I appreciate her thoughfulness. However, I suggest that if you are planning to set someone up, try to evaluate whether the two people have common interests and also their degree of ‘evolution’.
I did a spot of matchmaking yesterday, sans giving any hint of choreography and it worked famously. The two people in question were impressed with each other, as human beings and not as propective others. That’s how it should start and if it were not meant to be, then it gets nipped in the bud on it’s own…
