Lapses of lingy…

Gloria In Excelsis Deo


…In unison we belt out these sacrosanct lyrics which mean ‘Glory Be To God In The Highest’. 

’We’ are an eclectic bunch of individuals who have come together to experiment. And the result is ‘Showboat’, an ‘experimental’ jazz group. Showboat is religiously conducted by Alan, a confirmed jazz addict and musician extraordinaire. The man is quite a wizard where it comes to his knowledge of music and he is well-versed with the subtle nuances of every genre of music right from classical to jazz to Broadway and fusion. 

The choir is experimental for many reasons. One being that even though we function as a choir, we also pride ourselves in going solo. Yes, every one of us who will do own rendition of numbers which complement our timbre, tone, pitch and persona. Alan visualizes me as the protagonist of Sunset Boulevard. Now that’s a scary thought because she is an erstwhile Hollywood star who has now lost her sheen, and who is still desperately trying recapture her days of glory. She falls madly in love with a younger man and plays the  woman scorned when he falls in love with another. Alan also visualizes me as Mary Magdalene, the whore who loves Christ. This does a lot for my ego now, doesn’t it? 

I sing from the pit of my tummy, with flair and zest, but squirm silently within. Because I am agnostic. I was born into ‘God-fearing’ Roman Catholic family and stick out like a sore thumb in a palm of God-fearing fingers. As a girl I went to church as do the brigade of ‘good catholic’ girls and boys. But one fine day I asked myself, “Why?”

Why do I subject myself to lackluster, ignoramus sermons Sunday after Sunday?Why must I listen to O So bourgeoisie church choirs?  Why must I give excuses to Peter, Paul and Harry as to why I no longer wish to attend mass?

I am a rationalist and if given a cause to believe, I will believe. But sans proof, faith in an imageless entity is proving to be a difficult task. I cannot force myself to believe or practice organized religion. 

So what do I believe in? I believe in love, peace, hope and humanity. I believe in being tolerant, unprejudiced and forgiving. If one cannot believe and practice these mortal virtues then what immortal virtues are we trying to attain through organized religion?   

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This entry was posted on Saturday, August 28th, 2004 at 10:26 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.